By Chris Churchill/Contributor Your Cubicle. Yes. I’m talking to you. Recently, you may have noticed that there is an increased burden on your side of the desk. It seems that your office mate, the one seated in the cubicle adjacent to yours, on the right, is not doing all that he can to carry his portion of the office burden. You may wonder why it is that his/her productivity has plummeted in recent days. I didn’t want to be the one who told you, because, you know, it’s unpleasant news and sometimes people tend to take out their frustrations on the messenger but…well, here goes. Your office mate is planning your death. He has it all figured out now. It will look like an accident. In fact, it will look like you accidentally did it to yourself in such a perfectly “you” way that your friends and family will, after a proper mourning period, laugh when they think of it. Weeks, maybe even days from now they will recall your death and simply chuckle, saying under their breath, “That
By: Wilson P. Otterbanks III/NVN “Humor” Contributor You may have attended Hotchkiss, Choate, Kent, Exeter, Taft, Avon Old Farms, or slummed prepped at New Jersey’s Lawrenceville. It doesn’t matter as he sent you packing. Maybe a church youth group, boy scout troop, your fraternity, or Phi Beta Kappa chapter. He didn’t like you. At all. You were an entitled, highly intelligent, good-looking, smartass finding your way. He worked hard for everything, grew up in Youngstown, or some God-forsaken place, had a paper route and bagged groceries. From seven through college. He’s a virgin, not by choice, just is. Always a great target for bullies, and deservedly so. He is John Bolton. A man who once could not get confirmed by Congress. Chiefly due to being a bitter, sexually frustrated, dick. Now he is National Security Advisor. Advising the President of the United States. Not just that…he is also the last person in the room with the President. Cabinet secretaries, advisors,